This morning my beautiful little blue-eyed angel (aka JackJack Doppelgänger) elected to start his engine at 5 am. He was wide awake and spinning around in his crib like a whirlybird. On that note, Nando said, “I’ll go make coffee.” I said, “Well… I’ll start the list, and then let’s have our 5-minute morning meeting.” I began adding to yesterday’s list of tasks to complete. It included items like; write my May Haven article, update my fashion styling website, fly to the moon and back, turn myself from the pumpkin that I felt like into Cinderella, go to the screen printer in Lakeland, clean the entire house, rollerblade around Lake Howard, (while pushing Nandito in the stroller) and pack for the beach. I thought – this seems reasonable. We’re getting an early start. I’m going to actually get everything done today.
Nando strolled back in with my coffee and proceeded to say, “I have to run over to fix something at one of the rentals. I am leaving now. You and the little jumping bean have a nice day. Get as much done as you can. Finish packing so we can hit the road!” We planned to vacation at Fort DeSoto this weekend with our Airstream.
Dada left. I found Nandito and myself staring back and forth at each other. I was so excited to get the day going. Then, suddenly, all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. I had such high expectations with my “Tah-Do” list that I had already made myself tired before even one item was “TahDone.” The good news was, I had made a list, so I would not forget where to start once I rested.
I never thought it would happen to me, but I have “caught” a mild case of the so-called “Mom Brain.” I literally forget what I am doing or meaning to do in the middle of doing it. My grandma, who successfully raised six children, and Nando’s mom who raised three, had no time for things like, “Mom Brain.” But in today’s society, labels are embraced and #mombrain is used and excused often. I’m gazing back at baby, thinking if only you were old enough to go and get me a second cup of coffee or make pancakes or a green smoothie. Then I could just stay in bed working on my laptop and fall back to sleep, grabbing those additional 30 more minutes of beauty rest. Sounds dreamy. Right?
It is dreamy – it is what they call Mother’s Day; The one day out of the year where mom stays in bed and the children bring her breakfast and say, “Mom… today is your day, don’t lift a finger. Let us do everything for you.” The kid brings a handmade card, freshly picked flowers, and all the chores are done. Darn it… Nandito Bonito can’t even talk or walk yet. So, back to reality.
It is now 6:30 am, our morning prayers are complete and Hop on Pop was read twice. He’s playing. I’ve checked the email. So instead of napping, I will treat myself to 5 minutes of seeing what the rest of Polk County is up to on Instagram. I see posts of a couple other moms that have already been to the gym, had their lashes filled, put on full glam and are heading to Target and Starbucks to shoot their OOTD (outfit of the day). I have no idea where their children are or how they got the sun to come up earlier in Lakeland than Winter Haven? Whatever is in that coffee… I need one. It instantly depresses me, makes me feel like a failure as I am barely out of bed. How do they change diapers with nails like that or how do their blond hand tied hair extensions never get pulled out? My child pulls my hair any time it is not in a ponytail! That’s when I get my head out of my phone… revert to my list of goals and decide to cross something off of it because that will give me confidence. Now…. If I can only find the pen or even a crayon to write with.
I throw in a load of laundry and then grab the computer to order some wholesale t-shirts and follow up with a resume request about a film job. This summer I had planned to come out of maternity leave. Do we ever actually come out of maternity leave? I think we might leave the house to work, go places and do things. However, once you’ve been blessed with a child in any way… maternity is here forever. The only thing that leaves is your former lifestyle of “being without child” – which is forgettable.
The grass is greener over here (maybe just not mowed). I’ve realized this now that I have crossed over to motherhood. They also say two kids are easier than one. Yes, I am a stepmom of 15 years to five beautiful (now adult) children that actually did make me heart shaped pancakes for breakfast in bed and cards on Mother’s Day. Now with little Nando this is a whole other layer to my mothering. On this note… I have to stop typing right now… I’ve just realized what he is telling me through his alligator tears and lack of sign language… It is time for his breakfast.
Food, clothing, shelter, guidance and nurturing are not specifically on today’s list, but they are the most important items of the day. Everything else will fall into place. I am so blessed to be able to be a mom and have a human that loves me unconditionally and depends on me. This beats going to the moon and back and trumps a perfectly clean house. This is what life is all about. It is what moms are made for, not just posting on stories.
Today, at the end of the day, I folded a load of laundry, did some Winter Haven Apparel design work, took Nandito in the stroller to watch his dad ride the horses, did Billy Blanks 8 Minute Tae Bo, unexpectedly baby sat my nieces and the four of us took a swim.
I crossed two things off of the list, still trying to finish this article and we pushed camping to Monday. It was the perfect day to be a mom.
Xo Sally DC
P.S. Special thanks to all the moms out there, including my own, that support each other and have paved the way. Keep On Going!
P.P.S. Thank you to my husband for delivering me morning coffee in bed 365 days a year…
P.P.P.S. Thanks Amy for taking my story even though it was submitted a day late…
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