A little love, a dash of southern hospitality, and good old-fashioned fried chicken are at the center of Lakeland’s newest chicken shack, LoveBird Almost Famous Chicken. The couple responsible for turning up the heat on the pickme-up dining scene is Leah and Jeremy Brumley. You can get in on the Almost Famous action now, too! A lifelong Lakelander, Jeremy Brumley opened his first business, Woodpecker Records, right out of high school in 1993. His mother ran the record store for a year while he attended college and played soccer in Alabama before returning and attending Florida Southern University. Ten years into owning Woodpecker Records, Brumley sold the business and started Rockstar Moms, a maternity clothing company with his wife, Leah. Interested in going to dental school, Brumley moved to Gainesville for a time. There, he would frequent Hogan’s 83, a local sandwich shop. “It was just a hoagie shop with beer, and it was packed all the time,” he said. He liked the hoagie concept and talked with the owner about bringing it to Lakeland. Instead, Brumley connected with the owner of some 63 Outback Steakhouses, who offered him a job. Coming from small business ownership and with a baby on the way, the idea of a steady paycheck was attractive to Brumley. “I fell in love with it and worked my way through it from $2.13 an hour all the way to executive,” he said. Brumley worked to learn every position he could, from server and bartender to line cook, host, and eventually executive. “Even to this day, I’m most proud about that,” he said of working his way up through the industry. He also worked at Bonefish, which is owned by the same company as Outback. When the founder of the down under steakhouse broke off and started the fast-casual chicken chain, PDQ, Brumley hopped on board. He opened the Lakeland location and worked as regional vice president, VP of operations, and eventually COO. From offering lawn services as a kid to starting a record store and a clothing company, Brumley said, “We’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit in my family.” Despite his corporate gig, Brumley kept focused on his long-term goal to start something of his own again. THE CONCEPT Even before the pandemic, Brumley recognized the rapidly changing restaurant industry over his 20 years working within it. With the onslaught of online ordering, delivery, smaller square footage, food trucks, and the like, he saw an opportunity in the ever-evolving industry. Though the optics and delivery methods may change, “I do believe the future of the restaurant [industry] is still fresh food and great service,” he said. So, he and Leah set out to meet the changing restaurant industry’s needs last September when they secured their building, the former South Florida Starbucks, for their southern fried chicken concept – LoveBird. Designed to offer hospitable service and tasty tenders to-go, this neighborhood pick-me-up chicken joint anticipates roughly 80 percent of sales to be off-premise through their drive-thru, catering, pick-up, and food delivery services. The LoveBird site, snuggled against South Florida Avenue, doesn’t offer much parking, an intentional layout decision for Brumley. There will always be restaurants where people can come to sit down and share a casual meal with friends and family. Brumley suspects that won’t be the norm, though. “The convenience of ordering food whenever you want it – I don’t know if that will ever go away.” THE FOOD “My first introduction to Nashville hot [chicken] was going to Nashville, seeing shows and music, going to breweries,” said Brumley. He tried hot chicken at a brewery food truck and was hooked. Anytime he makes his way to the Music City, he always craves Nashville hot chicken. There is a hot chicken sandwich on the menu, but LoveBird isn’t exclusively a hot chicken restaurant. “The core of our business is Southern fried chicken,” said Brumley. “It’s great Southern fried chicken and great Southern scratch sides. Think about if a barbecue place and a fried chicken shack had a baby – that’s kind of what we are.” Former Bonefish colleague turned chef, Chef Rocco Taliani, helped to develop the LoveBird menu. “He had a love for food and had a path that took him from that to being a private chef,” Brumley said. “When I was doing the concept, I thought it would be fun to get him involved.” The star of the show – delicious fried chicken – is fresh, never frozen, has no added hormones, and is served in quarters. Each chicken gets a little TLC every step along the way to keep it tender and tasty, starting with an up to 24-hour brine. “It’s a process where every level of the chicken is seasoned from its raw state with the brine, our flour, and it gets a dry rub when it comes out. It’s a premium chicken,” said Brumley. The LoveBird team keeps things traditional with the Nashville hot chicken sandwich offering escalating heat levels depending on how spicy you feel. The chicken goes through a spicy chili-infused oil followed by a dry rub. A nod to Nashville, the hot chicken, is served with white Wonder bread, sweet pickles, two scratch sides, and a sauce if you opt for a plate. For all the flavor and none of the heat, Brumley recommends their Southern-fried Almost Famous Chicken. Scratch side offerings include slaw, bourbon baked beans, cheesy potatoes, jalapeño bacon corn, tomato cucumber salad, and fries. Guests can opt for dirty fries seasoned and topped with cheese sauce, bacon, green onion, and buttermilk ranch. Round out your meal with southern desserts like fire-roasted apple cobbler and banana pudding. THE FUTURE Could we see more LoveBird locations in time? Brumley said, “We have to get one right. […] I think that we have a good shot as long as we continue with our strategic plan and that’s the highest quality food, the best service we can provide, at a price that people can actually afford to eat more than once a month. […] If we can keep those three things in line and establish a brand culture that people want to do business with and feel proud to be a part of, then I think the sky’s the limit.” LoveBird Almost Famous Chicken 2101 S Florida Ave, Lakeland www.lovebirdeats.com FB @lovebirdeats IG @lovebird.eats Photography: grainandglass.com

This morning my beautiful little blue-eyed angel (aka JackJack Doppelgänger) elected to start his engine at 5 am. He was wide awake and spinning around in his crib like a whirlybird. On that note, Nando said, “I’ll go make coffee.” I said, “Well… I’ll start the list, and then let’s have our 5-minute morning meeting.” I began adding to yesterday’s list of tasks to complete. It included items like; write my May Haven article, update my fashion styling website, fly to the moon and back, turn myself from the pumpkin that I felt like into Cinderella, go to the screen printer in Lakeland, clean the entire house, rollerblade around Lake Howard, (while pushing Nandito in the stroller) and pack for the beach. I thought – this seems reasonable. We’re getting an early start. I’m going to actually get everything done today. Nando strolled back in with my coffee and proceeded to say, “I have to run over to fix something at one of the rentals. I am leaving now. You and the little jumping bean have a nice day. Get as much done as you can. Finish packing so we can hit the road!” We planned to vacation at Fort DeSoto this weekend with our Airstream. Dada left. I found Nandito and myself staring back and forth at each other. I was so excited to get the day going. Then, suddenly, all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. I had such high expectations with my “Tah-Do” list that I had already made myself tired before even one item was “TahDone.” The good news was, I had made a list, so I would not forget where to start once I rested. I never thought it would happen to me, but I have “caught” a mild case of the so-called “Mom Brain.” I literally forget what I am doing or meaning to do in the middle of doing it. My grandma, who successfully raised six children, and Nando’s mom who raised three, had no time for things like, “Mom Brain.” But in today’s society, labels are embraced and #mombrain is used and excused often. I’m gazing back at baby, thinking if only you were old enough to go and get me a second cup of coffee or make pancakes or a green smoothie. Then I could just stay in bed working on my laptop and fall back to sleep, grabbing those additional 30 more minutes of beauty rest. Sounds dreamy. Right? It is dreamy – it is what they call Mother’s Day; The one day out of the year where mom stays in bed and the children bring her breakfast and say, “Mom… today is your day, don’t lift a finger. Let us do everything for you.” The kid brings a handmade card, freshly picked flowers, and all the chores are done. Darn it… Nandito Bonito can’t even talk or walk yet. So, back to reality. It is now 6:30 am, our morning prayers are complete and Hop on Pop was read twice. He’s playing. I’ve checked the email. So instead of napping, I will treat myself to 5 minutes of seeing what the rest of Polk County is up to on Instagram. I see posts of a couple other moms that have already been to the gym, had their lashes filled, put on full glam and are heading to Target and Starbucks to shoot their OOTD (outfit of the day). I have no idea where their children are or how they got the sun to come up earlier in Lakeland than Winter Haven? Whatever is in that coffee… I need one. It instantly depresses me, makes me feel like a failure as I am barely out of bed. How do they change diapers with nails like that or how do their blond hand tied hair extensions never get pulled out? My child pulls my hair any time it is not in a ponytail! That’s when I get my head out of my phone… revert to my list of goals and decide to cross something off of it because that will give me confidence. Now…. If I can only find the pen or even a crayon to write with. I throw in a load of laundry and then grab the computer to order some wholesale t-shirts and follow up with a resume request about a film job. This summer I had planned to come out of maternity leave. Do we ever actually come out of maternity leave? I think we might leave the house to work, go places and do things. However, once you’ve been blessed with a child in any way… maternity is here forever. The only thing that leaves is your former lifestyle of “being without child” – which is forgettable. The grass is greener over here (maybe just not mowed). I’ve realized this now that I have crossed over to motherhood. They also say two kids are easier than one. Yes, I am a stepmom of 15 years to five beautiful (now adult) children that actually did make me heart shaped pancakes for breakfast in bed and cards on Mother’s Day. Now with little Nando this is a whole other layer to my mothering. On this note… I have to stop typing right now… I’ve just realized what he is telling me through his alligator tears and lack of sign language… It is time for his breakfast. Food, clothing, shelter, guidance and nurturing are not specifically on today’s list, but they are the most important items of the day. Everything else will fall into place. I am so blessed to be able to be a mom and have a human that loves me unconditionally and depends on me. This beats going to the moon and back and trumps a perfectly clean house. This is what life is all about. It is what moms are made for, not just posting on stories. Today, at the end of the day, I folded a load of laundry, did some Winter Haven Apparel design work, took Nandito in the stroller to watch his dad ride the horses, did Billy Blanks 8 Minute Tae Bo, unexpectedly baby sat my nieces and the four of us took a swim. I crossed two things off of the list, still trying to finish this article and we pushed camping to Monday. It was the perfect day to be a mom. Xo Sally DC P.S. Special thanks to all the moms out there, including my own, that support each other and have paved the way. Keep On Going! P.P.S. Thank you to my husband for delivering me morning coffee in bed 365 days a year… P.P.P.S. Thanks Amy for taking my story even though it was submitted a day late… Follow us on Insta: winterhavenapparel or sallyandnando (I spend approximately 5 minutes a day or less on it.)

Royalty since birth, ‘Queen’ Michaelah Williams graces others with her positive presence and tasty lemonade. According to her mother, Shawntrese Starks, as soon as she was verbal, she would tell people, “I am not a princess. I’m a queen.” Twelve-year-old Queen is living up to her monarchical moniker by setting an example for others with big dreams like her. Her favorite subjects in school are Art and Language Arts, and when she isn’t hitting the books, you might find her riding horses, practicing archery, or managing her own business, Queen’s Lemonade Palace. Queen started her lemonade business when she was nine. “I needed money so that way I could go to California,” she said. She wanted to travel there to pursue acting and needed $5,000 to do it. Her mom helped her come up with the concept to raise money. Where some parents have rigid expectations for their children, Shawntrese said, “For me, it’s what does my child want to do? And whatever she wants to do, I’m going to do whatever it takes to introduce her to that. If she likes it and that’s what she wants to do, then I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure that continues. […] It’s a joy being able to see her doing something that she wants to do and being happy doing it.” Queen’s Lemonade Palace held its first pop-up lemonade stand at a football game. “It did really good, and then I stopped for a little while,” said Queen. “I decided that I wanted to go back to it again, and people really liked the lemonade, so I kinda sorta had to.” The business grew organically as Queen sold her original, strawberry, and tropical lemonade along with mango and pineapple tea across Central Florida. Shawntrese says she is often recognized when she’s out and about as ‘the lemonade girl’s mom.’ Shawntrese took Queen to the Essence Festival in New Orleans several years ago, and someone walking past recognized the young entrepreneur as the little girl selling lemonade in Tampa. After her ABC Action News interview aired in cities across the country, Queen heard from admirers from New York to Texas and everywhere in between. Shawntrese uses these moments to teach Queen always to provide the best service and do what’s right because you never know who is watching or who you might meet. Queen missed the deadline for her California dreams, but not one to let anything take the wind from her sails, said, “I tried. That’s all that matters.” She would still like to pursue acting and singing. An old soul with a love for music, some of her favorite artists include Bob Marley, Doug E. Fresh, Slick Rick, and Michael Jackson. Her small lemonade operation didn’t stay small for long. Queen now receives regular orders from a growing customer base which her mom is happy to deliver. Queen has developed a brand with labeled bottles and pouches displaying her smiling face. “It took some time, but I got help from family,” she said of building her business. “Everybody helped me along the way. They gave me courage and told me not to give up.” Shawntrese and Queen are currently working through the logistics of shipping, with goals to be on store shelves one day. “Once I get to a point where I’m in stores, I’ll keep going, but I will also try to pursue my other dreams,” said Queen. This lemonade leading lady is using her platform as a young, successful female entrepreneur of color to inspire others. One social media post with photos of her riding horses, doing archery, and selling lemonade read, “I AM Black History in the making.” Queen said, “I hope that I inspire people and let people know that no matter what the condition is or what’s different about you, you can still make history no matter what, and nobody can tell you different from what you already know and what you believe.” A propellant for her hard-earned success is a contagiously positive perspective. “I get my positivity from people who inspire me like Rosa Parks and Harriet Tubman and other business owners from back then and now,” she said. “People and rappers and stuff, they come from a hard time. Because of their positivity, they rose, and they were able to accomplish their dreams.” What does the mogul in the making envision for her future? “My dreams are to become a veterinarian, to own lots of animals, especially exotic ones. I want to own a farm, and I want to own my own veterinarian business so I can be my own boss, and I don’t have to work for anybody else because if I do, then – chaos. […] It will also teach me the responsibility of ordering stuff on time and making sure everything’s in place.” Queen’s love of everything equestrian started when she was a toddler. When a horse got loose in a field near her house, Queen told her mom they had to help the animal. “She was very adamant – she started crying,” said Shawntrese. “The horse walked right up to her.” They called animal control and stayed with the horse until someone could come to help. “After that, I just became infatuated with horses and other types of animals… except for rats,” she said. When Queen was five, her grandmother took her to the Fort Pierce ranch of a horse veterinarian named Mrs. Stacey, where she started training with horses. “She’s always wanted to work with animals,” said Shawntrese. “Kids change their professions all the time, so I thought by now she would change it. Nope, she wants to be a vet, and she wants to specialize in farm animals. She wants to be like Mrs. Stacey and have this big farm and have her veterinarian’s office right on the farm. She wants to house sick animals and take care of them.” Asked if she had expected her lemonade stand to grow into the force it is today, she said, “Actually, I didn’t. It’s small, so I thought that this is going to help me and I’m going to make a little bit of money, so it’s going to be like a small business like all lemonade stands that sit on the corner. After it progressed, and more people noticed me, I thought maybe there is some hope in this, and maybe I can make enough money to save for college and help with the community and help my mom pay the bills, so I can also do what I have to do to help the world.” Doing her part to help her community, Queen has donated money earned through her lemonade pop-ups to the animal shelter, homeless shelter, Lakeland PAL, and The Gentlemen’s Course, Inc., a nonprofit organization educating in Etiquette, Human Rights, and Human Trafficking Prevention Awareness. She was nominated for the Gentlemen’s Course Freedom Award last year and was honored with the Human Rights Hero Award. She discussed why The Gentlemen’s Course is especially important to her. “Because I can learn how to stay aware of my surroundings […] and to learn that I have rights too. […] It’s also to help other people learn to stay safe,” she said. Queen says that her favorite part of selling her lemonade is “Making people happy.” And she has advice for other youth with entrepreneurial dreams, “Never give up. Keep trying. If it doesn’t work out, then try a new idea but keep that same idea but put a little twist to it. Keep trying, do your best, and if it doesn’t work, it’s okay. Just don’t give up.” Awed by her daughter’s accomplishments like many who meet Queen, Shawntrese said, “The majority of the time I’m overwhelmed. Simply because I raise a normal twelve-year-old, a normal kid in a normal setting, and she is just so extraordinary. Everything around her is normal, it’s ordinary, and she brings out the best in everything and everybody she comes in contact with. That’s a blessing.” To patron Queen’s Lemonade Palace, reach out on the social media linked below or give them a call. The recipe is top secret and pure magic – we recommend the strawberry lemonade! Queen’s Lemonade Palace FB @QLP2018 IG @queens_lemonade_palace_ 863-866-0510

On February 22, the Winter Haven City Commission voted unanimously to pass ordinance 0-21-06. The ordinance allowed chickens as an accessory use in all non-agricultural zoning districts within city limits, whereas they were previously only allowed in Agricultural (AG) zoning districts. The ordinance also provided “specific standards related to chicken quantities, permitted locations on the property, and coops.” What started as a simple run-of-the-mill reporting on a city commission meeting has become a dangerous game of corruption, bribes, and fried chicken. The findings of this investigative report may ruffle a few feathers, but at Haven, we believe in speaking truth to power. “The chickens are already here, and they’re problematic,” said City Manager Mike Himm. “The code compliance team is trying to be responsive to do the best that they can to be able to try to keep the issue at bay and at the same time allow folks to have chickens on their property.” The ordinance, first heard on February 8, proposed one chicken per every 500 square feet of parcel lot area with a maximum of 15 chickens per lot. Some commissioners felt the maximum number of chickens per lot was too many, resulting in a spicy discussion and a change in the rules to one chicken per 1,000 square feet with a maximum of 5 chickens and no roosters. Regulations developed for the ordinance also focused on the coop, which must be present on the property. Coops cannot be more than 125 square feet by 6 feet in height. This specific detail is in response to the numerous ‘chicken mansions’ popping up around town. A popular trend amongst millennials, these luxury coops are two, sometimes three stories. “If no one else will say it, I will. Chickens do not need marble countertops or wine cellars,” said commissioner JP Poultry who joined the meeting remotely. Commissioner Brian Yolks raised questions about compliance. He asked how many violations of the order someone would have to make before having their chicken privileges revoked. Additionally, what would happen to the offending chickens? Issues with dogs and cats are called into animal control, an extension of the sheriff’s office through the county. Mayor Brad Drumstick asked, “If someone has a problem dog or problem cat or problem chicken and we cite them, and we continually have a problem with them. Can you ultimately go in there and take the dog or cat or chicken? Or do you just keep giving them financial burdens until they get rid of their own chickens?” As I sat in the back of the room scribbling notes from the meeting, questions about chickens flooded my mind too. What if I want to walk my chicken on a leash? What if the chicken pecks someone in the shin while we’re out? What if my chicken lays an egg on the roof of my house and it rolls off and splatters on someone’s head as they walk down the sidewalk and they’re wearing their favorite shirt and some egg residue slides down their head onto the shirt and I say, ‘I’ll buy you a new shirt,’ and they say, ‘You can’t buy me a new shirt because they don’t make this shirt anymore plus this shirt has sentimental value because my aunt bought it for me at a Joe’s Crab Shack when I was 12 right before she died in a tragic crab leg accident,’? … I made a note to sit and have a good think over these issues later. The meeting continued. As to whether they were equipped to enforce the code provision effectively, someone pointed out that “There was some anecdotal information about this at our workshop meeting last Wednesday. Chief Bird said when he first came on board, he went on the 7th street chicken patrol, and they tried to get roosters in the trees and had a very difficult time getting them out.” ‘Hmmm, 7th Street Chicken Patrol… roosters in trees… Chief Bird… sounds serious,’ I thought. “My problem is if you have a small lot and you can put ten chickens in the backyard… It seems to me it’s too many. I don’t have a problem with a chicken or two in the backyard,” said the mayor. Mayor Drumstick sympathized with what the code department is up against, calling it a ‘conundrum’ … a chicken conundrum. But he also brought up the issue of care. If someone isn’t properly caring for their chickens and cleaning the coop regularly, would it cause an odor? “If all of us had 15 chickens, it would be a nightmare in my neighborhood,” he said. To the issue of a ‘fowl’ odor, Code Supervisor Tanya Air-Fryer said, “In the last 11 years, we’ve only had 81 complaints about fowl. Out of all of those complaints, the majority of the complaints were either that they were at large or that they had roosters. We’ve only had one complaint about odor.” Later in the meeting, Mayor Pro Tem Nathaniel Songbird added his thoughts on the odor issue. Songbird said, “We used to raise chickens. I don’t know if the technology of the coop has vastly improved since we raised chickens because there was an odor. … But we had 30 chickens.” I made the note on my legal pad and underlined it. ‘Songbird – former chicken hoarder?’ Details and statements swirled in my mind. This commission meeting was becoming very interesting. Something stunk – and it wasn’t the chickens. Back to the issue of what to do with rooster rule-breakers or folks with too many chickens per lot. Commissioner Tracy McNugget suggested that the Winter Haven City Police Department (as they were already familiar with the poultry problem via the 7th Street Chicken Patrol and Chief Bird’s sordid history with roosters in trees and suspicious last name) start a new department to maintain law and order – SCU. SCU or the Special Chickens Unit, said McNugget, would be tasked with ‘chicken raids’ to detain contraband chickens. She already had a few people in mind to head up SCU, veteran no-nonsense New York detectives Olivia ‘Barnevelder’ Benson and Elliot ‘Silkie’ Stabler. The commissioner went on to say, “In the criminal justice system, the chickens are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The police, who investigate crime, and the chicken attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.” The commission agreed with the idea, calling it “The best and most logical course of action.” The timing and thoroughness of those suggestions were fishy to me. I was going to have to do a little more digging into these avian affairs. Another issue raised was how will we know whose chicken is whose? Is that nuisance chicken mine or my neighbors? How will SCU know? Registration? Tag? Lower back tattoo? That item did not end up in the final ordinance. After all sides were heard, and no one from the public stepped forward to comment, the ordinance was passed unanimously on February 22. Hold onto your hens because this is where the story takes a turn. I had a hunch, see? And I was going to follow it. Roll the tape! But since there is no tape, I’ll explain to you what I saw in narrative detail. The commission heard several more items on their agenda and wrapped up the meeting late into the evening. I followed the mayor and his commissioner cronies out to the parking lot. I stayed far enough behind and peeked around a corner as not to be detected. One way or the other, I was going to get the s-coop. The group looked around wearily as if to be sure they weren’t being watched as they made their way to a shadowy corner of the lot, a dim area devoid of streetlamps. A suave-looking businessman in a red polo handed the mayor something discreetly – a white paper bag. The bag was suspiciously greasy as if its contents were perhaps fried and delicious. As the man in the red shirt turned to get into his awaiting town car – that’s when I saw it. The logo on his shirt… it was familiar. It was… Chick-fil-A. Red polo shirt guy turned to the mayor and said, “Thanks for agreeing to meet. I enjoyed our call yesterday. Nice doing business with you.” Wait? But today was Monday. That meant… the mayor and Mr. Chicken Sandwich had a business call the day before. On… a Sunday? Either this guy was working out of bounds, or Chick-fil-A is open on Sunday, and they aren’t telling us – maybe because that’s when the real dirty work gets done. I became disoriented as theories and conclusions raced around my mind and collided. What had I just witnessed? Even more troubling, who had just witnessed me? I stood stock still as every one of the commissioners turned and looked in my direction. I had been discovered. I locked eyes with the group’s alpha, Mayor Drumstick. I flicked my Virginia Slim, pulled my fedora further over my eyes, and buttoned my trench coat. It was time to scram (insert scrambled egg joke here). When I got home, I replayed the night’s events. I thought back to the February 8 meeting. When no one from the public stepped forward to speak, Mayor Drumstick ‘joked,’ “So Colonel Sanders is not watching.” But… was it a joke? Or was it to throw me off the trail? To be sure that the commission’s corporate daddy, Chick-fil-A, wouldn’t be implicated? I stepped up to my corkboard and started connecting photos with red string. The Winter Haven City Commission concocted an ordinance ‘addressing’ the ‘chicken conundrum.’ The goal was not to allow chickens as an accessory use in all nonagricultural zoning districts within city limits. It was really to create an excess of illegal chickens by setting a limit on the number one can own within city limits in non-AG zoning districts, knowing most people had more than what the ordinance permitted. They would then use the SCU to ‘detain’ any nuisance chickens or those at large. Unfortunately for the fowl, detainment meant ending up on the wrong end of a chicken sandwich. The commissioners accepted payment in the form of chicken sandwiches for passing the ordinance. I would also like to point out that we have a suspicious number of city officials with the word ‘Bird’ in their name. A coincidence? Perhaps… We know for sure now that commissioners are in the pocket of Big Chicken Sandwich (also known in the industry as Big Farm-a). And we know that Big Chicken Sandwich is in their bellies. The commission’s involvement raises the question as to what other special interests they could be working with. Big Taco? Big Mac? Big Lebowski? With chicken on the brain and a fire in my belly, I fell asleep with plans to write the exposé of my life the next day. But on Tuesday morning, around 8:35 am, I walked out to my car. The thinly veiled and lightly breaded threat read, ‘Keep your nose out of our business lady. Or you’re gonna get pecked!’ in honey mustard. I know it was honey mustard because I tasted it. Strange… the perfect condiment to put on a spicy chicken sandwich. If someone was sending a message, I tasted it loud and clear. Anyway, now my life is in danger. And I can’t go to Chick-fil-A anymore… or city commission meetings. If you have questions or comments regarding the “totally not a bribe” chicken ordinance, email april_foolz@havenmagazines.com .

It appears a hush-hush python problem is reaching a fever pitch around the outskirts of Polk County and rapidly slithering inward. The snake problem could reach critical mass within months, says resident python hunter and former A/C repairman Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts (no relation to the WWE wrestler). Reports of nonnative giant snakes plaguing the Everglades stem back to the 1970s – a time of bell bottoms and Burmese pythons. Over the past four decades, the population of pythons in the Everglades has exploded. These constrictors are popular in the exotic pet circuit for their gargantuan size, unique coloration, and strangling power. Though not venomous, rows of razorsharp teeth angled backward toward their throat make bites more painful and easier swallowing (for the snake). Adult Burmese pythons can reach more than 75 feet in length and weigh up to 2000 pounds. Lone python wrangler Jake Roberts has a manner at the intersection of stoic and sexy. The black duster caressing his dad-bod and well-maintained mullet gently flapped in the breeze coming off the lake as we discussed the snake problem and what Roberts is doing to combat it. His uniform? A gruff, nononsense kind of guy, Roberts keeps one cigarette in his mouth and another lit and ready to go between his fingers because “You never know which puff will be your last when dealing with pythons.” He also wears an eyepatch over his left eye. He considers the patch a cover for his ‘spare eyeball’ in case “the ‘thons get ahold of my other one.” On his snakeskin belt made from the hide of his first kill are a row of gator teeth, a .38 Chief’s Special, katana sword, and beer holster (a koozie sewn into the belt). He keeps the straps on his camo Crocs pulled down, at the ready. Roberts started as a part-time a/c repairman 23 years ago. He built up a clientele and eventually started his own company, Ice Ice Baby A/C Repair in 2005, servicing towns that skirt the Everglades. “It was routine to find a gator sunning himself near a condenser or a python hiding out in a vent,” he said. But when he and his wife Anna Konda-Roberts moved to Winter Haven four years ago, he expected to see his share of gators and snakes – though not pythons of man-eating proportions. “The first snake I came across in a duct here was a juvenile – not very big at all. He was old enough to have just been released when someone decided their pet had gotten too big. I removed him and moved on.” Two days after that, Roberts encountered something more alarming in the ductwork of a house near Lake Howard – recently hatched python eggs. As the scope of Polk County’s python predicament grew with each a/c job, Roberts felt obligated to do his part. “I’ve seen somewhere in the neighborhood of 3000 pythons in Winter Haven alone over the last six months or so – way more across the county. Someone has to take care of these sneaky little snakes.” So, Roberts added an unusual service to his a/c repair business website – snake wrangling. For just $169, Roberts will wrangle and capture any pesky pythons – big or small. All of Roberts’ captured snakes are taken to the Fort Meade snake pit off East Broadway. Detractors have questioned the effectiveness of merely moving the invasive snakes from one part of the county to another. Roberts has partnered with a self-described snake charmer to minimize the risk of harming the animals or himself during a capture. His sidekick snake charmer and SoundCloud musician, DJ Hypno-Thighs, does what he can to lull the serpents into submission. His snake charming track record is...if-y. “I’ve been bit directly in the face once or twice, or every time I’ve gone out with Jake, but there’s a real connection between these snakes and me – I can feel it.” Wrangling isn’t the only part of Roberts serpentine services. He prides himself on the research he does to keep the problem from reaching Everglades levels. He seeks answers to questions like why they flock to some urban and suburban areas more than others and what factors increase the risk of a residential python invasion? A glaring correlation, Roberts says, in the number of chickens, specifically illegal chickens one owns. As you may have read in another feature this month entitled “Chicken Noir,” The Winter Haven City Commission recently passed an ordinance limiting the number of chickens per household to five and absolutely no roosters in non-agricultural zoning districts. This chicken mandate so close to the revelation of the kept-under-wraps snake situation is raising a few eyebrows. Does the commission know more about the snake/ chicken connection than they’re letting on? Are the commissioners training pythons to prefer chickens in numbers in excess of five to rid the city of its chicken crisis? Are the commissioners actually pythons dressed as people? That’s a political intrigue piece for another day. “The more illegal chickens you have, the higher chance of a python invasion,” said Roberts. “They’re clucking timebombs.” Suppose you have more than five chickens or a rooster. In that case, the odds that there is a python somewhere in your house right now, probably the toilet, waiting to strike when you’re most vulnerable, increases 25 percent with each illegal chicken. Roberts shared a few safety tips to give our readers. If you see any portion of a snake, head, or tail around your house or in a public area, the python wrangler urges you to stay clear and call his sneaky snake hotline, as this can be deceptive of the snake’s actual size. What looks like a small snake by the tail can be a fully grown adult or ‘big mamma,’ as he calls them. Reminiscent of the rhyme to help tell venomous coral snakes from the harmless king snake, “Red touching yellow will kill a fellow. Red touching black is a friend of Jack,” Roberts has a more succinct phrase to keep you safe around pythons. “Always remember, ‘they’re growers, not show-ers,’” he said. In addition to the ecological implications of an invasive species settling into the county, it appears there may be economic impacts as well. Investors see the python ‘problem’ as more of a python ‘opportunity.’ An unknown entity has already claimed intellectual property rights to the terms/ ideas: Chain of Lakes Python Emporium, Spicy Snake Nuggs, Burmese katana sheath, Python Belt with Beer Holster, and Girthy Gus the One-Eyed Python. Stay safe, friends! We’ll do our best to keep you apprised of the snake goings-on and whether our city officials are, in fact, sentient Burmese pythons in human suits bent on world domination, one chicken at a time. To inquire about Roberts’ python-related services, email, april_ foolz@havenmagazines.com .

Winter Haven Water Tower Gets a New Look Relations between Winter Haven and Auburndale have sprung a leak over a new design on the downtown Magnolia Watertower. The tower was covered last month while undergoing phase I of a project that will include “major maintenance including a fresh coat of paint,” according to a February 11, 2021 press release by The City of Winter Haven. In this first phase of the ongoing beautification project, the tower will be painted with a base shade called “warm sun.” For roughly two weeks during the renovations, elements around the tower, including the walking trail, were covered and closed to the public. A protective sheet was hung around the water tower so its surface could be sandblasted and painted. “This type of maintenance not only improves the appearance of the tower but also prevents corrosion and protects the life of the tower,” according to the city. The press release went on to say, “While there has been much dialogue about a special logo or graphic on the tower, it is still in the discussion stage. This initial neutral paint shade will serve as the first phase of the process. Once the partners involved reach an agreement, the base paint on the tower will prepare it for the second phase of additional painting.” Partners reached an agreement on March 15 when The City of Auburndale stepped forward with funding for the final design. “Creative rights went to the highest bidder. Auburndale just wanted it the worst, I guess,” said one confused Winter Haven city official. The Magnolia Watertower, located in downtown Winter Haven, will sport The City of Auburndale logo, a map to the city, the puzzling sentiment ‘Welcome to Auburndale,’ a mural of Auburdale’s official city animal, the screaming hairy armadillo, and a series of ‘Auburndale Fun Facts.’ We were able to obtain a preliminary list of ‘fun facts,’ which includes: “The world’s longest continuous bingo game took place in Auburndale from 1997-1998.” “The ‘I’m not sure what to do with my hands’ scene in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby was filmed at The Auburndale Speedway aka The ‘Dale.” “Auburndale has more supermodels and macaroni per capita than any other city in Polk County.” “Tom Hanks bought a vacation home in Auburndale so he and Rita can have Peebles Bar-B-Q whenever they want.” “We have a dog park.” “The city’s full name is Auburn-Dale Earnhardt Jr.” Only one of these statements can be confirmed true at the time of publication. “We’re looking to capture tourists from the area and show them what we have to offer,” said Auburndale’s Chief Tourism Advisor, Alexa Chambers. “We’ve gotten some pushback from Winter Haven, but to those detractors, I say, ‘Water you going to do about it?’” Local grassroots movements, ‘The Alliance of Bryan’s Who Think The Water Tower Should Be Painted Like a Stormtrooper Helmet’ and ‘Citizens for Less Church Bells’ are pooling their resources to fight Auburndale’s busy non-Winter-Haven design and other ‘community ails.’ The latter group aims to compromise with an area church that chimes every hour on the hour. The group would like to see a less frequent bell schedule or temporary relinquishment of the church iPod to another person or party… literally any other person or party. Designers city-wide are in an uproar about the conversation surrounding not only the ‘fun facts’ that have yet to be proven true, but more importantly, the font selection. “We want it to be super fun. We want folks driving by or walking downtown to say, ‘Wow, now that’s a water tower,’” said Chambers. The current fonts in contention are Curlz, Comic Sans, Zapfino, Papyrus, Brush Script, Helvetica, Impact, and Courier New. “We have so much copy to include, we may end up using them all. I think such an avant-garde choice would make sense coming from the trendsetting metropolis that is Auburndale.” “I feel attacked. They have to be doing this on purpose,” said one hot-headed bespeckled magazine graphic designer. Supermodels and Comic Sans aside, phase II for the Magnolia Watertower will begin next month and is expected to finish up by mid-July. An official ribbon-cutting for the mural is slated for early fall. The ribbon-cutting will be held along the walkway below the tower. It promises to be a family-friendly event where folks can pick up informational pamphlets about the great city of Auburndale, enjoy a screaming hairy armadillo petting zoo, and all-you-can-eat macaroni. According to the Auburndale Tourism Office, Tom Hanks will be in attendance. To register in advance for the macaroni-eating contest at the Magnolia Tower ribbon cutting on April 32, email april_foolz@havenmagazines.com .

State Finals Come to Polk County If you’re a lover of all things rodeo, it’s time to dust off your chaps! The Hamster Rodeo State Finals is making its way to a roughly 5-square-foot patch of the Bartow Horse Arena at the Polk County Agri Civic Center. Be prepared for all the gruff and a lot more fluff at this must-attend event. The hamster rodeo is an endeavor by the Hadley Association for Hamsters in America (HAHA), a project spanning the last two decades. The sport of traditional rodeo may be all about cowboys, horses, and cattle, but hamsters are the wild west stars of this rodeo, roping and riding guinea pigs. HAHA Founder and CEO Buck Hadley explained the sport’s origins. “You might not know it, but there is a rodent hierarchy, of which hamsters are damn near the top,” he said. “It wasn’t hard to teach them to rope and ride. All it took was Waylon Jennings, PBR, and a little time. Hamsters are the natural cowboys of Rodentia.” These small but stout rodeo stars stand between six and eight inches tall and don blue jeans, boots, spurs, chaps, and cowboy hats. Miniature saddles and cinches adorn the riding guinea pigs, but the real show is bareback gronc riding. Taking the place of bucking horses (bronc or bronco) are rambunctious guinea pigs, aka groncs or groncos. Other notable events are guinea pup wrestling, saddle gronc riding, tie-down roping, team roping, barrel racing, and hamster wheel racing. “You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a hamster, one tiny hand wrapped around the riggin’, the other hand in the air trying to stay on a bucking guinea pig for eight seconds,” said Hadley. “Their itty bitty hands are perfect for gripping a shoelace size rope. And when they get bucked off, all you see is a flash of fluff and high pitched eeeeeeeeeeeeeee sound. It’s great.” No hamsters are harmed during the rodeo; they always land on their tiny booted feet, according to Hadley. Staying true to rodeo culture, there will be hamster rodeo clowns as comic relief to the crowd and keep the tiny cowboys safe when thrown off a raging guinea pig. The Hamster Rodeo State Finals is sponsored by Skoal Smokeless Tobacco, “The chew of choice for chubby-cheeked cowboys everywhere,” and Wrangler as part of a campaign for their line of hamster jeans, Hanglers with the tagline “Hanglers – keeping your hamster double cheeked up since 1904.” For $10 admission, attendees will enjoy buckin’ and bulldoggin’ from the top names currently in hamster rodeo, including Wild Hamster Bill Hickock and even 2020 All-Around Hamster Rodeo Champion from Milford, Utah, Stetson Bite. For an additional $20, you can get VIP access and high-five a hamster. The event is strictly BYOH (Bring Your Own Hamster) as no hamsters will be for sale at the event. “Our small cowboys aren’t for sale. They’re their own men – a proud people. They love America, their mommas, apple pie, and rodeo. You can’t put a price on that,” said Hadley. With an average life span of 2-3 years, top names in this kind of rodeo tend to rotate quickly. To pay homage to the rough and tumble hamsters of history, a pop-up Hamster ProRodeo Hall of Fame will be on site. Learn the history of the hamster rodeo and its legends, including Chubby Fannie Oakley, Texas Pete, Billy the Hamster, John ‘Wiggles’ Wayne, and Cheeks. The Hamster Rodeo State Finals prize pool includes a lifetime supply of Skoal cherry chewing tobacco, a bag of baked timothy biscuits, a rhinestoned hamster wheel, and the coveted Hamster Rodeo State Finals trophy belt buckle. To enter your hamster into the state finals, send a photo, bio, and hamster rodeo credentials to april_foolz@havenmagazines.com .

Streaking – we’ve all done it, right? In small towns like ours across the country, it’s a right of passage. How does one streak? Remove all items of clothing and take off running with a group of your best buddies. The objective? Feel the wind on your fanny and try not to get caught. Why do it – boredom? Love of the streak? Well friends, it’s time to stretch out those hamstrings and leave the sweatpants at home because there’s a new nudie club in town. Streaking has shaped world history. For centuries, our ancestors have done it – both building and breaking empires with the flip or flop of an appendage. It has influenced great artists and philosophers alike. As Descartes said, “I think therefore I am pantsless.” The art of streaking has influenced everything from cave drawings and Renaissance paintings to football games and the occasional wedding reception. Every prominent figure in Polk County since its founding has been a member of a secret society of streakers known as the Order of the Illuminudie. This elite club extends membership to only the upper echelon of Polk County – judges, lawyers, doctors, leaders of industry, politicians, law enforcement officials – movers and shakers (in more ways than one). Legend has it that the Illuminudie draw their power by ceremoniously full mooning during a full moon. Butt… what about the rest of us? What of us blue-collar, working-class streakers? We are but humble folk who simply want to run around in the buff. In response to this unclad cabal of cheeky power players, a recent transplant to Winter Haven, Andrew Weinerman started a movement of his own – The Winter Haven Nudist Collective. The Collective, open to the public, is a group of enthusiastic exhibitionists who get together for organized streaks. “I was looking for a sense of community. Through online forums, I realized there was this huge hobbyist cross-section of nudists who also happened to be runners in the area – my two passions,” said Weinerman. “People who aren’t in positions of power should have access to streaking-related activities within their communities. We’re equal opportunity streakers.” So, members of the Winter Haven Nudist Collective are bucking the system, and they’re doing it – buck naked. The WHNC is partnering with organizers of the Slow Roll and Ski Show, a bicycling event in which folks meet up and cruise through town to the Saturday ski show at Lake Silver by the Cypress Gardens Water Ski Team. After watching the show, the slow-rollers make their way to Grove Roots for a beer. The new event will be called the Slow Streak and Stunt Show. The Winter Haven Nudist Collective is stripping the concept down to its skivvies. Starting in the fall, runners participating in the Slow Streak and Stunt Show congregate under cover of darkness and jog at an uncomfortably slow pace for a quarter-mile through town. The organizers opted for a shorter race than the typical 3K or 5K for both legal and chafing reasons. Let your bits and bobs bounce in the breeze all the way to Lake Silver for a nude water stunt show. If you spot the police – pick up your pace. And if caught, you never read this. “Don’t knock it until you try it. You may think we’re nuts, but I promise it will be a ball,” said Weinerman. They haven’t yet fleshed out the details, but there are quite a few themed events in the works. Look out for Barks and Buttcheeks this summer, where revealing runners can bring their dogs too. The Winnie the Pooh Race will see runners in a t-shirt and no bottoms making their way to the finish line, where there will be a rib-eating contest. Final race dates will be announced later this month. The must-attend naked holiday event will be the Jingle Jangle Dangle Jog 1/4-K. Participants will go on a bare sightseeing jog of all the best holiday lights and displays around town. Jingle Joggers who finish the race be awarded traditional finishing medals. “We hope you’ll be there with bells on,” said Weinerman. Winter Haven Nudist Collective events, including the Slow Streak and Stunt Show and Jingle Jangle Dangle Jog, are, for the most part, no-holes-barred, with few barriers to entry. To become a member of the Collective, you must be 45 years or older. All body-types welcome, shoes required, sweatbands optional, no-clothing-zero-tolerance policy. “There’s this guy who shows up to all our runs, fully dressed. We’re like, ‘Hey man, that’s a little weird…’ It’s like, who does that? That’s creepy, show some respect for the craft,” said the group’s founder. “I want these events to bring back the good old-fashioned fun of streaking for all,” he said. Asked where he hopes to be in five years, Weinerman smiled, “Still jingling and jangling and dangling.” To sign up for a Winter Haven Nudist Collective event, email april_foolz@havenmagazines.com .

Get all the hecks and fricks out while you can. A new ordinance is taking place in the City of Lakeland that will ban profanity and language construed as such. The City Commission voted unanimously to pass ordinance 21-053 on March 15, 2021. The ‘Do You Kiss Your Mamma with that Mouth’ Rule, as it has been dubbed, will effectively ban all our favorite swears between the hours of 9 am and 5 pm, Monday through Friday. The community can frig and darn at their leisure between 5 pm and 8 am and all day on Saturdays and Sundays. The ordinance was first drafted thanks to Lakeland resident Kyle Tucker. During a public disagreement with his younger brother in May of 2019, the elder Tucker hurled the derogatory term ‘butthead’ with such vitriol it practically shook the coffee shop they were sitting in, according to eyewitness reports. And now we all can’t curse anymore. Thanks, Kyle. “Won’t someone please think of the children!” cried one angry woman on the scene. In a statement to the police, (whom she called) the woman commented, “I was just so scared. I thought to myself, ‘Butthead? What’s next – Mother Trucker? Malarkey? I don’t want to live in a world where people can express themselves so freely. It’s terrifying.” That woman was Karen Lipshitz. Lipschitz was so shaken by the encounter and many other ‘unacceptable’ cursing-related events she had been witness to that she founded Karens Against Kussing an activist group with the sole mission of cleaning up Lakeland’s streets and mouths. It’s safe to say that these Karens won’t be taking anymore of the community’s Lipschitz. The bad word ban is set to go into effect on April 1, 2021. A department of the Polk County Sheriff’s Office called the Swear Squad is taking up the task of catching any naughty ne’er do wells and seeing to it that they get their cursing comeuppance. Anyone caught uttering a bad word between the days and times established in the ordinance will feel the full extent of the law in their wallet with a $200 fine to be placed in the county swear jar. Foul-mouthed offenders will be obligated to carry out the latter part of their punishment at the Polk County Sheriff’s Office. Cussers must show up to have their mouth washed out with a bar of soap and call their grandma to apologize. If you do not have a grandma, one will be appointed to you. The parameters are strict, said a spokesperson for the PCSO. “No dangs, dingdongs, or dagnabits will be tolerated.” For expletive aficionados who let slip Category 5 Swears of the 4-letter variety, it’s hot sauce on the tongue for you, buddy. Serial offenders will be subject to the stockades at Munn Park to endure passersby giving their best ‘I’m not mad – just really disappointed in you’ expressions. An addendum added during the ordinance’s second reading called the Flanderisms Clause will ban words and phrases that an eavesdropper could even construe as an attempt at a swear. Because, as Lipschitz put it, “We all know what you really mean when you say ‘kiss my grits’ or ‘oh fudge’ so don’t you diddly do it. And there’s nothing holy about crap, so stop saying that one too!” Thanks to the latest in obscenity technology, repeat cussers will be outfitted with a ‘Bleeper.’ The Bleeper is a digitalized sensor designed to predict when a swear or semi-swear is about to exit the offender’s mouth and issue a long monotone ‘bleep’ in its place. “I got the idea while watching my all-time favorite show – Jerry Springer,” said Clyde Minnows, the Texas-based inventor of the Bleeper. “It works by attaching to the neck just over the vocal cords and, using tone and speech cadence detectors, indicates when a swear is about to spill out.” Minnows is currently working on a ‘complicated lip scrambling technology’ that could potentially blur a person’s mouth. Citizens are advised to mind their P’s and Q’s moving forward as the no-cussing ordinance is no-nonsense. Detractors of this new rule are drafting a counter ‘mandatory swearing’ rule to be heard at the next City Commission meeting. For any questions or comments regarding the no-cussing policy, or to receive a comprehensive ongoing list of punishable expletives released by the city, email april_foolz@havenmagazines.com .

Haven Opts for Office Drive-Thru It has been over two years since Haven has had a permanent office space. Since then, we’ve worked in our publishers’ living room and two other temporary spaces – putting out two magazines a month, 12 times a year. Destroyer Media & Marketing is excited to announce that we finally have a permanent home in the works. One of the things we loved most about being in an office accessible to the public is how much we could interact with our readers through drop-ins and community events. Over the last year, we’ve worked primarily from home. We are thrilled to be creating magazines together in a collaborative space again. And we can’t wait to see YOU there. Part of our office design is a drive-thru lane down the middle of our shared workspace – think, Beverage Castle. We’ll be serving more than beers – though you can pick up a Bud Heavy here too. Always a dream on the backburner – our food concept/ publishing business model will finally launch! Drive on through for a slice of Haven’s famous meatloaf. If warm square meats aren’t your thing, check out our other menu items like H-shaped chicken nuggs and spicy chicken sandwich sliders. We’re proud to be serving up only the freshest local chicken, which has been easy to source due to a recent increase in seized Winter Haven chickens and our private partnership with a national fast-food chicken brand. We are constantly being asked, “Where can I get a Haven?” and “What if I want to read an unnecessarily long 2,000- word profile on the go?” We’ve got you covered! Slide on through our drive-thru and tell our customer service associate, Steven Downy Jr. Maynard, you want to ‘Destroyer Size your meal,’ and we’ll throw in a copy of that month’s Haven in with your meatloaf or locally-sourced chicken sandwich. Yell, ‘Spud me!’ and we’ll shoot a raw potato into your car with our high-powered potato cannon for you to take home and fry later. Just remember to watch for pedestrians (and pythons) as the drive-thru runs directly through the middle of our office, and we’d prefer not to scrape one of our employees off your hood. We couldn’t be more excited for the prospect of serving the community through written and visual storytelling, social media, chicken nuggs, and beers. Haven is looking to franchise our magazine office/ fast-food idea. Send inquiries to our business email, april_foolz@havenmagazines.com , if you’re interested, and we can set up a meeting to talk numbers.

Winter Haven’s Shawn Gravitt, aka Skinny McGee, spent his time during quarantine exchanging lyrics between pen and paper, completing songs for a new album. Skinny sat down over a coffee with us, talking tunes and telling band stories. THE SKINNY ON SKINNY Gravitt’s musical nickname is an homage to Gilligan’s Island. He can remember watching the show daily. Gilligan had a childhood friend named Skinny Mulligan and another called Fatty McGee; Gravitt meshed the two together for his namesake, Skinny McGee. In 1996, Gravitt and a friend started a band, calling themselves Skinny McGee and the Boxcar Boys, together they put out a 45. “At the time, there was a big Rockabilly scene in Europe,” said Gravitt. One of the band’s songs was picked up by a French magazine called Continental Restyling, published by Jerome Desvaux. “You could send him records, and he would review them,” Gravitt said. “One of our songs on his charts in Europe went to number four.” The Boxcar Boys dissolved, and Skinny later put together another band in 1998 called Skinny McGee & his Mayhem Makers with Gravitt writing lyrics, on vocals, and upright bass, Mark Hannah on lead guitar, and Chris Bell on rhythm guitar. Skinny McGee & his Mayhem Makers debuted as a band at rhythm guitarist Chris Bell’s Antemesaris RocknRoll People’s Party. The band’s music, described as ‘Authentic Florida Rockabilly,’ is steeped in mid-century southern sensibility and a ‘Johnny Cash type’ sound. The music put out by Memphis’s Sun Records was influential to the band. “Offbeat record labels would go and find the original acetates and re-release them,” he said. “So you’ve got a lot of really, really obscure songs and sounds that we could dig into and not step on anyone’s toes. By doing that, we came up and started melding our own authentic Florida Rockabilly sound. [...] Now it’s probably a little bit more country,” he said. Skinny McGee & his Mayhem Makers played countless gigs in Europe and the U.S. and put out two albums, Mint Juleps & Sweet Magnolia (2002) and 99 Years (Give or Take) (2005). After an eight-year break, the band got back together to play the 30th Antemesaris RocknRoll People’s Party in November of 2019. “With them, it was like putting on a good old pair of blue jeans,” said Gravitt. They played two more gigs following the Antemesaris People’s Party before the pandemic made its way stateside, putting a halt to public gatherings. WRITING AN ALBUM OVER QUARANTINE Gravitt, a hairstylist for 33 years, was shut down for about seven weeks last spring. “About two weeks in, I was like, ‘I’ve got to do something.’ So I started writing,” he said. “It was like somebody opened a spigot – it was song after song after song.” The bandmates worked together remotely, exchanging recordings to overlay guitar and mix songs. There wasn’t an express theme to the lyrics Gravitt wrote over his time at home, “but it felt a lot more country,” he said. The country sound is an old friend of the band. Their first full-length album, Mint Juleps & Sweet Magnolia (2002), featured two ‘very country’ tracks. Sweet Magnolia (named for Gravitt’s youngest daughter) was one of those songs accompanied by the metallic twang of steel guitar. “We listened a lot to that because my daughter now is at the age where she can listen to it and get it. She’s musical, so she was really digging it. That, I think, fed into the more country theme,” Skinny said. “There are two songs that have a bit more meaning than the other songs,” said Gravitt. “They’re dark, and they’re different from what we’ve ever done.” “The last song on the album is a song about a murder, but it’s seen from the eyes of a black man who didn’t commit the murder. […] The other one is about coal mining and black lung; it’s very old sounding, it sounds 30s, 40s style,” he said. Writing is the most cathartic aspect of making music for the band’s vocalist and upright bassist. “I love the writing – the creative part of putting things together. You’ve got a bunch of parts and pieces, and you don’t know how they fit together – that’s fun,” he said. “Usually what happens is I’ll catch a line, or I’ll hear somebody say something, and then I’ll wash it over in my brain [...] A lot of times, it starts with a little chorus, and it goes from there.” Skinny McGee & his Mayhem Makers put out a two-song EP, A New Place to Go, teasing their upcoming 13-song, self-titled album set to be released later this spring or early summer. The trio has been practicing at their private band space, ‘Schmoe Island,’ preparing for their spot at Stringbreak Fest in April. Skinny McGee & his Mayhem Makers Skinnymcgee.rocks YouTube: Skinny McGee and his Mayhem Makers FB @SkinnyMcGee99 IG @skinny_mcgees_mayhem_makers Photograph by Brandy Kay Photography

If you’ve ever savored the sashimi at downtown Winter Haven’s Tsunami Sushi or gotten a trim at Haircut Naturally, you probably know Mario Scifo. He’s the one with the big personality – and the skills and ambitions behind it to make waves in the downtown restaurant scene. Mario Scifo was born on the Mediterranean island of Malta. His family came to New York in 1951. Of his five sisters and one brother, one sister stayed in the Big Apple. She had their names engraved in granite on Ellis Island to honor their immigration to the United States. At 19, Scifo joined the United States Navy, where he became a barber. Four years later, fresh out of the Navy, he met up with a friend at a New York bar. His friend suggested he check out California for a week or so. He made it to the Golden Coast. “I stayed there 21 years,” said Scifo. There he became a master barber and cosmetologist. “I started as a barber and became a master barber because I wanted to know how to cut long hair – that’s when I went to beauty school in California.” He owned three salons in California, each called Haircut Naturally, along with his own shampoo company called Scifo with products like Scifoam, Scifoette, and Scifoglaze. In his spare time, the master barber played first division soccer. “I’ve always wanted to be like my dad. He was a professional soccer player… He had a business, so I had a business. He got married, I got married. He was in the Navy, I was in the Navy. He had seven kids, and he beat me on that one,” Scifo said with a smile. “After my own shampoo line, I got into training hairstylists and being an educator for shampoo companies,” he said. Scifo worked with companies including Rusk, Matrix, Wayne Grund, Oster, and Nelson. He kept up on the trends and continued his education – attending Vidal Sassoon Academy in London for hair cuts, Paris for coloring, and Italy for cuts and color. He traveled as an educator as well, doing hair shows at institutes around the country. “What I’m most fond about from my craft is, I became a platform artist, that’s what I always wanted to do – travel all over the country and do hair shows,” he said, describing it as being like “a circus.” He said, “You’re there with Paul Mitchell, Vidal Sassoon, Irvine Rusk – anybody who was anybody was there. It’s almost like going to the Emmys but with hair.” Thirty-one years ago, Scifo moved to Florida, where he’s made a name for himself as a small business owner in the community. Entrepreneurship runs in the family – Scifo’s father owned a local restaurant, Casa Catalina, for many years, and his niece Jessie Skubna owns Jessie’s Lounge and Jensen’s Corner Bar in Winter Haven. Mario opened Haircut Naturally on Highway 27, which he ran for eleven years. In 2003, he opened Tsunami Sushi downtown, along with his fifth Haircut Naturally location. “When I was building it, people thought I was crazy,” he said of the downtown sushi spot. “In California, they’re like gas stations – they’re on every corner.” A sushi lover himself, Scifo didn’t like that he had to drive to Lakeland or Orlando to grab a bite. “I wanted to have something downtown that everybody could enjoy,” he said. Tsunami Sushi was among the first of the current dining options in downtown Winter Haven, burgeoning a renaissance in the food scene lining Central Avenue. “The sushi bar was a nice add-on to what was to come later,” he said. Opening the restaurant was taking a chance for Scifo, who described himself as an entrepreneur. For the restaurant’s grand opening, he invited all of his clients to dine in three waves. They packed the house three times over and he made enough to pay off their debts in the first night. While running the sushi shop and salon, Scifo started a cleaning business – One Cleans All, with the motto, “We don’t cut corners, we clean them.” Juggling the responsibilities of three enterprises, Scifo decided to focus on hair about three or four years into starting Tsunami and sold it to the current owner, Vinh Nguyen. Nguyen took note of Tsunami’s splash downtown and opened two other successful locations on Cypress Gardens Boulevard and in Lakeland. “I did it because I thought it was a good thing – and it was,” Scifo said of opening Tsunami Sushi downtown. Focusing solely on his career as a stylist, Scifo continued at Haircut Naturally until December 23, 2020. At 75 years old, Mario Scifo had been doing hair for 55 years and was ready to retire with his wife, Tammie, also a hairstylist. Beloved by his clients to the end, Scifo’s last day in the salon was completely booked. Asked what he’ll miss most about working in the community, he said, “All my good clients.” When he wasn’t serving up sushi, playing soccer, perfecting a style, creating his line of shampoo, or overseeing a cleaning business, he wore an inventor’s cap. According to Scifo, he made a tool combining scissors with a comb and an adjustable hanging rack for stylists’ hair tools, which he installed in his salon. A few months into his retirement, Scifo is enjoying himself. “Right now, I’m doing all the things I’ve wanted to do around the house.” The retired hairstylist and entrepreneur is staying busy giving his Lake Wales abode a ‘new do,’ if you will, in the form of a new roof, doors, tile, lighting, painting, and the like. A bit of sightseeing is also on Scifo’s retirement to-do list. “I’ve always wanted to travel,” he said. A well-traveled man, Scifo has been all over Europe, South America, Canada, Hawaii and says he wouldn’t mind going to Japan, Abu Dhabi, and spending more time in Europe. He’s planning a trip to Mexico, though it’s been postponed several times due to the pandemic. With decades of success in craft and business under his belt, we asked Mario Scifo the secret to making it all happen. He said, “You’ve got to be at work every day. You have to have dedication, persistence, and you have to have a good skill.”